My mum once said to me when talking about my sisters and I,
‘I love you all but sometimes it’s hard to like you.’
I thought it was a little harsh.
What does she mean? There has been times when she doesn’t like her own kids?
I get it now.
I must admit when I read articles describing how motherhood is in actual fact hard, I sometimes think to myself ‘what did you expect? Have you ever met a baby before?’ Having a little one is constant, exhausting and worrying, but I expected all of this.
Maybe the fact that I have 3 older sisters and 3 nieces and nephews (some of them closer in age to me than the sisters) I have got to experience what it’s like to have a little baby around the house.
When I was 10 years old I got picked up from primary school by my eldest sister and her waters burst in the car turning her long blue maxi dress into a tie-die effect. I believed that baby was coming out there and then, there ended any beliefs I had that pregnancy and babies is all pretty.
Crying babies, dirty nappies, snotty noses and sleepless nights where what I expected so when I fell head over hells in love like I never expected, never experienced before, that’s where my initial surprise of motherhood came from.
Now the toddler years… This one has crept up on me.
I must of been too busy/ cool at this stage when my nieces were younger as I genuinely can not remember them having more than one melt down. My sisters reassure me it’s normal but ever since October my little angel traded her halo for a broom and hasn’t got off it.
Tears, tantrums, feet stomping, body flinging, yelling and more tears. When this happens, sometimes multiple times in a day, that’s when I think back to what my mum said and yet again, due to motherhood, I agree with her.
Teething, the bug, colds, chest infections have all been blamed but these are all just excuses… She is 2 and I’m not going to call her terrible, yes I find many of the days, the meltdowns (and her meltdowns) terrible but she is still so funny, loveable, clever and kind. This stage is only a tiny fraction of the little lady she is but right now, along with an 8month old to juggle, these tantrums and moods can be so consuming.
Parenting author Peggy O’Mara said,
“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice”
This really struck a cord with me as so many days I have flew off the handle. I question myself everyday, I repeat in my head what I say to her, I question why I have to tell her the same thing multiple times and question how I can change my style to help her get it. I don’t want to break her spirit, I want to nurture it but I also want her to understand boundaries and how people should be treated.
I remind myself every day that she is only 2, from 2 1/2 the developmental stage is boundaries and my goodness we are both learning them! My 2 year old is learning how to be a person and figuring out that in this big world she is 1 little person but I always want her to know that this same little person will always be our world.
Annie also wants to thank you Bella, for taking the limelight off her and helping polish her halo.
Toddlers making babies look easy…. I will brace myself now for the teenage years.
Are you facing toddler tantrums? We would love to hear from you, any tips are appreciated.