A great friend of mine would regularly say
‘you can’t teach these things, that’s the things that are taught while sitting on your parents lap’.
This week I started to stress I wasn’t ‘educating’ Bella enough, I wasn’t sitting down with her going over words… I have never done that anyway and her speech (if I can say so myself) is incredible but I started to worry that I was maybe forgetting something.
As a child my mum and dad rarely read to me, my mum left school at 14 to be the primary carer for her mum that suffered from MS, she was chosen out of her siblings because she was deemed the one to have the least potential. Even writing that makes me angry. Mum has never had any confidence in reading or writing however what she wasn’t praised for was her compassion to others, she has cared for many people both young and old and now manages a sheltered housing development for the elderly.
Last week as I was getting Bella and Annie out of the car and into the pram a little boy at the car next to us was crying to his mum, I watched Bella stare and prayed she didn’t come out with something that would make me want the ground to shallow me up, but she didn’t. The little boy was crying and saying he was too cold, Bella went over to the pram and lifted Annie’s blanket from beneath the pram, brought it over to him and said ‘here you go, this will warm you up’. At 2 1/2 she knew how to help that little boy, knew how to put someone else’s needs before her own (well her little sisters) and in that moment (again) my heart burst with pride.
In my job, it wouldn’t matter if I was the most intelligent person in the world, or knew all processes like the back of my hand. To be successful I need to have my team all working together, with me and towards the same thing and the only way that is achieved is by treating people right, showing empathy and respect.
All of these things together remind me to stop worrying about how clever my child is, to stop worrying if I am not smart enough to teach her even decent English never mind great, just to try my best and hope that school will fill any void. What we need to do is role model how to treat others, show the impact we have on others, empathy and respect and that it is only in English lessons that you will hear ‘I comes before..’
Anna X
Spot on Anna. My little Bella (16 months) comforted my friends 9 month old who was crying and said “aaaah”. My heart burst and all my ” am I teaching her enough?” Worries went away x
Sorry only seeing your comment now! It’s so true, it’s them little gestures that are reassuring and remind us what is really important to teach our kids 💕 thanks for your comment xx
Hi Anna, I think every mum feels the pressure to ‘educate’, I’m a childminder and also have a degree in early years, learning and development and through my experience the children who get quality time with mum/dad are the more happiest/content children, they are happy in their own skin their social well being levels are high meaning they learn from the simplest of things, their social skills are generally higher than so called ‘advanced’ children who you often find are needy, unsettled, socially shy and struggle to make and maintain friendships … So basically kids that spend quality time with their family (even just out in the garden playing ball) are more ready for the ‘real’ world they adapt better and overall learn from their experiences… So your girls are being educated every day !!!! Great blog by the way X
Apologies Ciara I am only seeing your comment now. My sister is also an early years teacher and she says the exact same thing. Poor Bella this week though she has been ‘helping’ us garden 🙈 I am sure she learnt plenty then. Thanks for your comment 💕
I agree with you. “just to try my best and hope that school will fill any void.”
Thanks for the great article.
Thank you, I guess is all we can do… And stressing won’t help either xx
A love of learning comes from the home but that does mean hours of phonics and counting. Children learn through experiences whether it be a walk in the park and a chat about nature or baking and a chat about ingredients. Your children are learning every day and they are learning the best way so don’t worry.