Too exhausted to exercise

I started with a personal trainer this week for energy, to build some core muscle again (I forever have pain in my lower back and it's just weak from carrying 2 babies), to tone and for 1 hour to myself with no other focus. I was supposed to start on Monday but turned up with no gym gear wearing a pair of heels and a suit... I've had wiser moments 🙄 It's been about 3 years since I last exercised properly, I took lots of classes after I had Bella and started to run for a charity marathon rely but since getting pregnant with Annie it all stopped and I have said weekly since that I will start Monday (sings *if 'Monday never comes' to a bar of Cadburys in the tune of a Gareth Brookes hit).

I popped a quick insta story up after my first training session yesterday as I was actually feeling slightly deflated, now not with the gym it was great and even better it was empty, the PT himself was fab and very detailed about injuries etc but it was with myself.

I made light of the situation on insta stories and joked about having to do sit ups when there is a search party out for your pelvic floor muscle and the response I got was huge and it made me think, I am going to share this because these are reasons that busy mamas forgo exercise and I'm really not alone!

I was deflated tonight after my session as I was already exhausted going into it.

Now not exhausted due to a lack of sleep though the night before was the worst in a while but in a head spinning, juggling so many plates, not stopping for breath, wondering what I've missed kind of way. I was mentally exhausted and I also had talked myself into it by saying that it was an hour for me to recharge forgetting I needed a decent charge going in there.

The first night was a fitness test and he said I done really well (maybe turning up as my 17 sit ups in 120 seconds didn't impress me) but it's a start, a reminder that for everything we start somewhere and definitely something to build on but sitting on that rowing machine and aiming for a time I realised that I was struggling to muster up enough energy to care for myself. 

After a few years of being mummy, cleaner, wife, cook (in the loosest sense of the word), manager, (ok, we get the picture) you can feel pretty spent and touched out before trying to add another dynamic of purposely exhausting your body. 

I am glad I already had a session booked in for next week, maybe he was wise to this and done it on purpose as I could easily have given up before I have even begun... goodness if I was on my own in a gym I would have given up in the first 5 minutes, well I probably wouldn't have pushed myself at all so I am glad I had guidance. So right now I have a reason to give this a chance as I maybe was naive to think after the first session I would feel like I was enjoying it. Next time I am going to try and have less balls juggling on that day until I get into the swing of it a little, I am not going to be rushing from somewhere or replying to emails at the front door, I'm saving a little charge for me. 

I am going to be very open with Jack (the pt) of how I am finding it... within reason, I'll prob not offer up the pelvic floor info and pray that he learns about that from someone other than me (supporting each other and all that 😉) maybe for a while there's different exercises that are more gentle in order to find my love for exercise again but for now my aim isn't for a six pack or toned arms, it's to make it back through the doors on Tuesday night and have held enough charge and energy for me. 

Wish me luck!

Anna xx

I had no intention of blogging anything to do with exercise but if you want to follow along I will post little updates as I go!